Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
