you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i now understand why vodka
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just gargled with NyQuil
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