Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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