ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
