Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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