that's an acceptable place to lick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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