I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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