Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
