I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
