two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
