Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
