Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize