Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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