I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize