I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
