Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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