so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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