hotel room ftw
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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