Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You need a sexual gate keeper
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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