Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
