Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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