I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
