You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize