So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ambien. No doubt about it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
