i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
