I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
