dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
