Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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