there was a trapeze. enough said
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
