I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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