What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
