Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
