Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
