like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
