So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize