with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
