I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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