Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
