I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
