Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
