C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
