The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
