ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
