But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This is the high leading the old right now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
