Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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