Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
