Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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