your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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