Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My Higher Power is John Stamos
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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