I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
In America we eat man semen.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
