I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
