Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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