okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
