Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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