There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish I only lived at night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
