So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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