So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
