did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
