Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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