He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
