My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
