so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize