I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
