why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
