hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
