Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
