Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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